“It’s very confusing… I thought we lesbians are safe”

Perhaps infected them. Every one of these individuals reported they’d never ever been with male lovers or had contact with medical transmissions or drug that is injecting (we failed to ask if individuals were created with HIV or any other feasible risks of transmission). Although problematic for them all to comprehend, truly the only possible route of transmission and behaviour that is risky could report had been intercourse along with other females. All individuals additionally reported out they had been infected with HIV and could not understand how it had happened that they were shocked to find. That they had all thought that since they had just been with females, these were safe:

“…i possibly couldn’t know the way it simply happened because I happened to be fine and I also thought we (lesbians) are safe, plus the only person I happened to be intimately active with has also been a lady. I really couldn’t comprehend… I couldn’t comprehend. I really couldn’t know how I possibly could have contracted herpes whenever I had thought I became safe in means! ” Zanele, 31 yrs old, Durban

“It’s how you get diseased as a lesbian as it’s actually confusing just how it will be possible. Other ladies know which they have it from their lovers during penetrative intercourse then again as a lady who’s a lesbian whom additionally sleeps along with other ladies – it is rather confusing. ” Lebo, 22 yrs old, Pretoria

The individuals’ confusion and disbelief is obvious through the examples that are above. When you look at the very first estimate, Zanele repeats exactly exactly just how she “couldn’t understand” being HIV infected. This feeling of confusion and nearly perhaps maybe perhaps not believing this 1 is HIV good ended up being a theme that is recurring the five participants whom reported exclusive sexual connections with ladies in their life time. It stays uncertain for most of those just how transmission that is possible happen between females.

Of these participants, living with HIV demands constant explanations of how one got contaminated as assumptions override lived realities. Not merely are individuals struggling to realize feasible illness on their own, they simultaneously find it difficult to respond to constant concerns from other people regarding how they may be contaminated:

“People think that you’ve got slept with a person and that is the method that you got HIV. It creates my entire life much much harder because as a lesbian girl whom is HIV good, i have to explain the way I got HIV. ” Bongi, 33 yrs old, Johannesburg

“In the city they raise numerous questions regarding the simple fact they see…my partner is a woman that I am a lesbian and when. Then, `how did I be HIV good when I have always been someone who really loves other females? ‘ they ask. Some also get in terms of saying it is really not astonishing that We have HIV – where have we heard that a lady and another woman may be included? ” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban

It’s obvious through the above quotes that their HIV good status produces different difficulties into the everyday lives of those ladies. The demand that is constant explain an individual’s status to other people shows that you can still find misconceptions about HIV transmission in conjunction with lack of knowledge about same-sex relations.

Deciding to reveal

Individuals had been additionally asked should they had disclosed their status to anybody aside from the interviewer. Reactions suggest that nearly all participants had disclosed to someone, some loved ones and friends that are few. Nonetheless, a participants that are few just disclosed to at least one or two other people. Some had disclosed to nearest and dearest, buddies and in addition publicly. Among the list of individuals were several AIDS activists who had been understood within their communities to openly be living with HIV. For the people individuals that has disclosed to household members and buddies, disclosure ended up being couched when you look at the language of protection – i.e. Protecting oneself and another from feasible disease:

“As i’d like to safeguard the second individual, we nevertheless need certainly to do the exact same for myself. I might in contrast to to obtain re-infected…As long you can nevertheless get re-infected. While you continue having non-safe sex, ” Zintle, 22 yrs old, Pretoria

“My mom as well understands (about my HIV status) because that she must use gloves to help so she won’t be infected” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban if I collapse in front of her she must know

While individuals may shy far from disclosing to your average man or woman, all reported the requirement and significance of disclosing to intimate lovers. Central to such disclosure is protecting somebody and ensuring she doesn’t get diseased:

“Most regarding the lovers that I happened to be dating – many of them are now HIV negative and we just be sure that they’ll constantly stay HIV negative https://camsloveaholics.com/runetki-review. I mightn’t risk their everyday lives and We just be sure that I mightn’t do anything…” Taati, 26 yrs old, Windhoek